Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Sibilant

sib•i•lant (adj)


Of, characterized by, or producing a hissing sound like that of (s) or (sh)


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Hi Tim! I really enjoyed listening to your music (yes all of it).


I love Vivaldi's Winter and I feel bad for having never heard it before. I like Spring, although it is not my favorite piece of classical music, but I think I much prefer Winter because of the darker tone that you mentioned. It was very beautiful.


Ok, so I did listen to this and I'll just say that I didn't think it was bad. J. Bib-wearer, I mean Bieber, isn't really for my tastes, but I can understand his appeal . . . well, the appeal that he has in his music, lyrics, and vocal skills, not so much the orgasmic crush everyone born after 1998 seems to have on him. But a catchy song, I do confess.


OK, I freakin' LOVED this video! Those guys are SUCH good singers! And they're both awesome at piano! Such a good rendition! And I love how the guy in the tux is playing Mario Kart in the background and then he loses! AND THE AWKWARD HAND!!!! And then they beatbox at the end and the guys with the popped collar throws his bottle away and the other guy picks it up afterward! SO FUNNY!!!


YES! Videogame music! I haven't even played that game and it takes me back to days of battling! I love how there is this distinct nature to any videogame music that no matter what game it's from, you can picture playing it for hours on end. Great stuff!


That music was all brilliant and really showcased your love of both excellent music and music that connects to something important in your life. It's a good selection and all of them are worth listening too (even Mr. Bieberection himself)
HOWEVER!


Did you really think you could do a post about your favorite songs and have no retribution!


To that I say Pfft! Pfthththttht! Pffthtt! Pth! Pfth! Ph! 
Anyway, I should stop getting spit on my screen. 


Your list has inspired me to share some of favorite music with you. It's hard to choose, so I just looked at my most played list on my computer and chose my top 5 from there. This isn't really a list of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE MUSIC, but it's a list of the music I have been drawn back to time and time again. Some of them mean something to me, others I just think are catchy, but all of them are good tunes that I will continually listen to again and again.


1. Haiti - Arcade Fire


This song has snuck to the very top of my list by a long shot. To put the difference in mathematical terms, the number of listens that the number 2 song makes up only 64% of the number of times I've listened to this song.
I really have no idea how this happened. I know I like the song, but I had no idea how much. It's kind of weird. But I still love it and can't stop listening to it. Sometimes I'll have it stuck in my head for weeks on end, which is sad because I can only sing along to half of it because it's in both English and French. But maybe you can to translate it for me!



2. Jigsaw Falling Into Place - Radiohead


My love for this song is hard to describe, but I know that on my brother's computer, it is still his most listened to song. Personally, I love the driving bass line and the tight percussion. I'm also a big fan of Thom Yorke's distinct vocal style and how it hovers between jarring and trance-like. But what really draws me back to this song over and over again is how all the parts of the song come together to make something completely unique. This song is quick-paced, but slow; really loud but quite soft. To me, the beautiful sound of this song and the overall unity required to make it so entrancing is what music is all about. Music is able to show us something that we know we cannot achieve on our own; a beauty of soul and of art that is ultimately fleeting, but forever transcendent



3. Lakes of Canada - Sufjan Stevens


This song I only started listening to in the past few months, but it has quickly become one my favorite songs. It's so calming and beautiful. It does really remind me of being out in the Canadian outdoors, driving along the prairies, skating on the Rideau canal, kayaking on the shore of Nova Scotia, and especially hiking atop Whistler Mountain. I listened to this song once on repeat for I think about an hour straight and enjoyed every minute of it.



4. Strawberry Swing - Coldplay


Another song that my brother and I love. It was favorite song off of Viva La Vida when it first came out and I still think it is one the best songs by Coldplay to date. This song reminds me so much of Grade 12, but I can't exactly figure out why. I know I listened to it a lot during that time, but there also a feeling of nostalgia that the song gives off. It reminds me of those special singular  moments in your life; the ones you never forget. They may be an entire day or only a few seconds, but they mean a lot to you and can't be diminished by time. I think this song reminds me of all those special moments in the last couple of years of high school that meant so much to me because I spent them with such a great group of friends.



5. Goodnight Moon - Said the Whale


This is the first song B. played for me. I had heard of the band before, but had never appreciated them until that point. The song to me represents both a significant point in my life and a very significant person in my life. This song is cute and playful, but still deep and inspired. I love the adorable beginning and the fun-loving ending. It makes me laugh and it makes me cry.



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So there you have it. This isn't a definitive list and it may be subject to change later on, but right now these are some of the songs that mean the most to me.

I didn't know about your chest pains, but I'm glad to hear they've subsided. Keep yourself healthy and get lots of sleep and enough food (what am I saying, you're Asian). Just get enough sleep!


I'm doing pretty well right now. I've been worrying myself about my GPA and about getting a summer job a lot over the past few weeks, but I had a good chat with my parents and I feel like I don't have to worry so much. I'm still anxious, but I'm not beating myself up over this stuff . .  at least for now.


And I can't wait to see you either Tim! I know what you mean about the semester! I just finished a 3000 word paper and I have three more major papers to finish before the semester ends. I was so happy for the warm weather today, but it's hard to truly enjoy when you know you should be doing work. I can't wait to just hang out outside and spend an entire day not worrying about when things are due. But school is finishing up soon! It's the longest slog, but we've done it before and we can do it again! 


Have a great day Tim! Keep on rockin' and a-rollin'!


-Clayton




Sunday, March 20, 2011

pH

p•H (noun)
(Chemistry) a scale of measurement that describes the acidity or alkalinity of a liquid solution. Mathematically, the pH is found by taking the negative logarithm of the activity of Hydrogen ions in the solution [i.e. pH = -log(activity of Hydrogen ions)]. The pH scale is logarithmic, meaning that every whole increment indicates a ten-fold change (meaning that pH 1 has ten times more hydrogen ions than pH 2). Other logarithmic scales include the Richter scale for earthquakes.

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SO... I have midterms this week (one chemistry and one french), and that plus the fact that I haven't done a fun post in a while, I thought I'd do a post on something lighter.

Today, I would like to just list five songs that (regardless of quality) I love and can't get enough of right now.

So, in no particular order whatsoever:

1) I begin with my favourite piece of classical music: Winter, Movement I by Vivaldi, from his infamous The Four Seasons. Spring Movement I, I must admit, has become a rather cliché piece of classical music, to the point where when people say they like it, I tend to get the idea that they really aren't a connoisseur of classical music. Winter Movement I, however, is a completely different story. Seeing as Spring Movement I has garnered so much success, it seems to have eclipsed the other seasons and movements in Vivaldi's quartet of seasons, which is fine by me, because it means I can openly love this song without much ridicule from the classical music community.


I can honestly say that this is by far my most favourite piece of classic music in the world. Period. It's got the perfect combination of eerie, tense, exciting, explosive, harsh, frigid, and heartbreaking emotions. (the version I have on my CD has a little bit more "umph" to it; the dynamics are a little bit more pronounced, but its still good.)


2) Next, is this. I won't force you to listen to it, because I know how much of a reputation he has, and you can ridicule me all you want, because all I have to say is this:
1) you can't deny that he has talent.
2) No matter how bad the lyrics may be (because I admit it: most the lyrics really aren't so good) I can't seem to stop listening to this song. Like actually. It's just so... CATCHY... T_T
...Yea... *dies of embarassment*
Although, I must say, this part of the song really resonates with me: "my heart is blind, but I don't care, 'cause when I'm with you, everything else just disappears, and every time I hold you near, I never want to let you go, no-oh no... tell me you love me." You might or might not know why.



3) This next one you already know I also have an unhealthy obsession with... I could try to explain why, but I don't think I could properly. I don't think even I fully understand my obsession with this song...




4) I love song number four because it's so pop-py and fun and they lyrics are a bit bizarre but I love every minute of it. It's another song I can't get enough of, period.
I really really love this rendition of it; the guys are so talented and the video (background) is so funny too! Technically, this video has two songs by Owl City: the first one is Meteor Shower, which I was unaware of until I saw this video, but now that I've listened to it, I love it just as much as I love Fireflies (which is the song I was talking about in the blurb above).



5) The last song here is from Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald versions. Of course, you know I had to have a pokemon song in here somewhere. There are so many good classics that it's hard to choose just one. I have so many favourites and I love all of them; they've just been such a huge part of my childhood/life that I can't just choose one, but if I had to at this particular moment right now, I'd choose this one: the theme for Mount Pyre. It's fantastically catchy and eerie yet fun at the same time. I love it.

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*sigh* I just really really want this term to be over. I've been having a really rough term. I had that breakdown in February, and my marks have been rather abysmal, and I've just been perpetually exhausted. I just want a break from all this, you know? The good news is that the term is almost over, and I haven't as depressed as I was during my breakdown. Yea, I've been rather moody and a bit sad, but I haven't had any sharp chest pains since Feb, so I think I'm doing okay. I just need to power through the next month or so, and everything should be fine =)

I hope you're doing well and everything is going well out there at TWU. I can't wait to see you and everyone again in a few weeks =)

Chat soon,
~Tim~

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Resonance

re•so•nan•ce (noun)
the ability to oscillate between different positions, appearing to "resonate" between two or more states. Resonance can be applied to science in such areas as chemistry in the positioning of electrons in pi bonds for chemical structures, or physics in the oscillation of particles and waves.
Origin: Latin (resonantia = echo or resonare = resound)

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So, I want to take the time here to apologize for freaking out during my last post two weeks ago. Looking back on it, I don't think I've publicly posted something so morbid in quite a while. I also want to take to time to explain myself, to the best of my ability.

From knowing me for so long, you already know that I struggled with depression during high school, especially in  the first three years, but still significantly during the senior two. Since graduation, I've had the time to really think about those five years in secondary school and I've really been trying to understand what went on and everything.

For the past year or so, I've had a theory about myself that was pretty much confirmed during my brief bout of self deprecation two weeks ago, and it goes something like this:

I was really depressed during high school (for really personal reasons that you may know), and life was really getting difficult to bear, but I was able to survive because I had really great friends. I knew even back then that my friends were all important to me, and they were important because when I was with my friends, I was able to be really and truly happy. Being in their presence immediately put me in a good mood, and having fun together completely obliterated all of the ubiquitous negative feelings I had. My friends made me forget about all of the crap that I had going in in my life; I could forget about all of my pernicious troubles and all of my teenage angsty woes. They liberated me from my depression and allowed me to be free to be happy.

Most importantly, my friends made me laugh. I think my laugh has a reputation, but its only because my laugh really incarnates my feelings. If something makes me feel bursting with joy, my laugh will be bursting with joy and its volume and duration are directly proportional to the amount of happiness I am feeling, and since (when with friends) I am ravingly happy, my laugh is ravingly obnoxious.

During high school, I was laughing every day. Seeing you and Froface (btw I love the way you're referring to our friends specifically not in a way that still protects their anonymity) and Drummerkid and everyone else in Band, the Overlord, Old Wrinkly Wife, others in my other classes, and Mme in French, I was never short of a good laugh at school. During the senior years, I was even guaranteed to laugh so hard I would start crying at least once a month in Mme's french class. Yes, I was going through a very difficult period in my life, personally, but I know that I was also very fortunate to have the misery combated by a healthy portion of laughter.

That laughter is something that I'm missing out on here at UBC. As there is nobody here in any of my classes that I can really truly be myself around, I can never really laugh the way I'd like to; the laughter has all but left my life, if you will. The only times I really get a taste of that laughter is when I'm laughing at the comics you send me on the thread, or on Fridays when I get together with people at home. I've realized this past two weeks that the laughter impacts my health much more than I thought it did. I think the reason I have such a general state of passivity at UBC is because there really isn't anything there that sparks my eccentricity, and when I'm feeling upset over poor midterm marks, there really isn't anything that helps me forget about it or get over it; I'm kinda forced to just sit there and mope about it.

But that isn't to say that I'm anywhere near where I was before in high school. I may be moody, upset, and depressed, but really its not as bad as it once was, at least not yet. I'm older, I'm able to endure it for longer periods of time, I've found things that can distract me from it long enough to keep going, and the Lord will always be there when I need Him.

Yes, high school was a very, very trying time for me, but if I had a choice to go through it or not, I would choose to do so. I believe that everything I learned about myself, the world, and the people around me are worth the suffering. I'm no longer a neophyte to the emotional curve balls that life can throw.

The Lord challenges us constantly, but gives us the strength to over come them. This is something that is hard to remember, but its something that He's proven to me countless times over, most recently, in the past two weeks. You kinda get a sense of how upset I was in my last blog post, and I was even very angry as I drove over to your house on that Friday (I don't think I've ever driven across town in less than five minutes before) but as soon as I saw you guys, everything evaporated. Any lingering negative feelings after Friday were totally expunged over the next week because of one thing: DSS.

As you know, the DSS drama department presented A Flea in Her Ear throughout last week. I had originally planned not to go, but when I got home on Thursday, my sister came up to me and said "Tim are you free tonight??? Crazy German Friend is working as stage crew and she got me two tickets to the DSS play tonight, so you should come with me!" and I did and it was fantastic and I don't think I've laughed that hard for a very long time.

It was not just that the play was hilarious, but I got to see lots of friends from band and some of the teachers and it was amazingly fun and really it was all the best parts of high school rolled into one night. And it was so invigorating that I needed another hit of it, so I went to see it again with Souless Fro Boy on Friday. And it was just as amazing. Seriously, I can't remember the last time I jumped up and down shrieking my face off with excitement in the middle of a crowd of strangers. And then on Saturday since my sister hasn't seen Crazy German Friend and Crazy Asian Friend from DSS in AGES, they had a sleepover and we had a blast.

I love how my sister gets along and is friends with my friends, and vice versa. It's awesome.

Anyways, I'm feeling a lot better and when I have time, I'll be ranting about Pokémon because FIFTH GEN WAS JUST RELEASED TO THE WORLD! OMG YAY!

Also: thanks for the support and awesomeness, Clay. I can't think of enough (positive) adjectives to attach to the word Friend when thanking you.

Also: I enjoyed your thoughts on n00bs; I think it's very noble of to want to use your prowess to decrease world suck like that; there aren't many people who would.

Also: would it be violating your Lent if we continued the Thread here on Vonerdculary, because the Thread turns two years old in just over a month, and I'd hate for it to be put on haitus... (so cute!~ http://www.exocomics.com/170 ; only awkward if you make it so http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/bizarro/28/ ; I LOVE COMMANDER DATA! SO AWESOME! Also: only nerds would do what is suggested in the last panel http://2tothe5th.com/default.aspx#244_-_Commander_Data)

Chat soon,
~Tim~

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Neophyte

ne•o•phyte (noun)

a person who is new to a subject, skill, or belief.

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Today I'mma talk about neophytes, or, as the majority of our age bracket would call them,

n00bs.



Now this particular word has a lot of different connotations which is fascinating to me because it has only entered common parlance in the past few years. It is usually used as a derogatory to insult people. It's intended to have a pernicious effect, lowering people's self esteem, while elevating the insulter to feel superior. Mr. Fro himself has called me one more times than there are hairs on his size-fluctuating head.

But like a lot of derogatory words, it is usually employed by people low self-worth to depreciate others to exalt themselves at least one peg above utterly deplorable. By this I mean that the kind of people who usually call people n00bs are those who are already n00bs at life.
To me, this word (and other similar words like amateur, neophyte, novice,etc.) illustrates a really important truth about life.

When I worked at the day camp, the kids playing Super Smash Bros. would usually call one another n00bs.



This was funny to me because they would insult each other for lacking skill, but from my perspective, they were all terrible at the game. As I watched each kid self-destruct and fall of the stage more times then they actually were able to hit one another, all the while calling each other 'n00bs', I laughed to myself, thinking how I could beat each and every one of them with one Control Stick tied behind my pack. Actually, I don't know how that would work . . .

Anyway, I suddenly remembered that I had once been just as bad. I remember vividly the first times I had played SSB with Froface and how he had beaten the ever-loving tar out of me as I tried desperately to land a blow while frantically moving my character from falling off the edge. It was awful to watch, I was embarrassingly bad at that game. But, even JoeFro was terrible at videogames once upon a time. I remember him being beaten by a friend of ours from elementary school just as badly as he beats me nowadays. I thought about how we were all once inexperience novices at one point or another.

I realized while watching the kids that we're all n00bs at some point in our lives. In fact, no one's good at everything, so we're all n00bs at something or other. Whenever kids make fun of each other for being unskilled, it reminds me of my own days growing up and being made fun of (and also making fun of others) for lack of talent. And no matter how much I think I have grown up, I know that I'm really not that different of a person than I was when I was a child. I still suck at a lot of things and I still chastise others for not being as smart or skilled as I am. But as I grow older, I have to acknowledge that I am by no means perfect at everything and while others may appear inadequate to me, I too was once a novice, or a n00b.

It doesn't matter how 'good' we are at anything. God doesn't care how skilled we are, and neither should we. What does matter is that we recognize what talents we have learned and what things we have become skilled at so that we can do those things to the best of our ability in improving the world around us. I would much rather be mildly adequate at something and use that skill to help people, than be amazing at something and use it only for my own selfish purposes. God has given us skill and talent so that we can use them to make the world a better place, or, as the Green Brothers put it, "Decrease World Suck".



So, going back to my original example, I may have felt smug watching the kids playing videogames, but instead of just acting superior towards them, I used my talents to help the kids earn more characters and levels in the game, so that we could all have more fun playing together.

So this is why people who call other n00bs are actually the biggest n00bs: If we spend our whole lives tearing each other down, we lose the ability to use the talents and gifts we've been given to help out one another and make the world a less-horrible place to inhabit. If you live your life with the inability to love other people and make their lives as well as your own better, you are a n00b at living.

We are all neophytes, but when we, as amateurs, come together, with the help of a higher power, we can accomplish something truly great that we could never do on our own. I like using my talents to help out people, whether it be in ministry or just by listening to people's problems. I know that I still have a lot that I can learn while I'm here on Earth, but I still want to use what knowledge and abilities I have acquired to help others learn to use their own talents they have been given.

Anyway, that's what I have to say about being a neophyte.

Oh, and on a side-note, I would like to note that Quid-Pro-Fro has never used the word n00b in a negative way to me. He says it to people that frustrate him (especially on CoD), but when he calls me one, it's in a joking way that means no real harm. It makes me laugh and I love him for it.

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So anyway, I just wanted to apologize for not being able to update the thread for a while! I should have told you earlier that I was thinking about giving up Facebook for Lent! It's been something that's been on my mind for a while as Facepage and other websites can really distract me from getting my work done. I also wanted to follow my Youth Pastor's example of making Lent an annual cumulative thing. I like the idea that every year, I challenge myself to give up something new in addition to what I gave up last year. It gets exponentially challenging, but I want to give it all I've got!

However, this doesn't mean that I don't want to talk to you!!!! Never never never never never never ever fornever ever!!!! In fact, what I was thinking was that we could skype more in the next few months. I really enjoyed that time we talked together in January (even though I had dorm meeting then) and I was wondering if there is a time of day or week that works best for you. We can ever talk while we're studying or doing papers if, like our spare block together. They were incredibly unproductive yes, but some of the best times I had in high school.

So does that work for you? Let me know via text or on my email, which is just my name @gmail.com. Or you can skypechat me when you get time!

Have a great day Tim! Keep on catching 'em all!

See ya,


-Clayton

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Pernicious

per•ni•cious (adjective)

having harmful effects, especially in a gradual or subtle way

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Tim,
when I read your last post about being normal, I was worried if too many pernicious things had cropped up in your life. I can't say I "know" how you feel, but I can empathize and sypathize with your predicament. I know I have a few of them myself. They can be big things, like self-inflicted guilt trips. Or they can be little things, like an addiction to Facebook. I deal with both of those things on and off. But that's part of being human.

The human condition is that state where we are constantly in a state of imperfection and unfulfilled desire. This condition is defined by suffering, both little and big. We suffer under the oppression of others, under the judgment of others, and worst of all, under the oppression and judgment we inflict on ourselves. We beat ourselves up over not being perfect and visualize and fantasize ideals that are so impractical that we will never see them in fruition in this lifetime. I believe that this is where a lot of our boredom and dissatisfaction comes from in our modern world.

We watch TV, see movies, and play videogames where the ideal is to have that perfect group of friends, the ideal partner, to one day get that perfect job that never feels like work. Fantasy takes this one step further as we lose ourselves in non-existent worlds where limitations our thrown off and our normal everyday issues are put aside for romantic battles against over-the-top villains and monsters.

Don't get me wrong, I love fantasy and Sci-fi. But I've seen the way it affects people and the pernicious effect it has one someone's view of what the "real" world should be like. It's not like people walk around going, "Man if only I had a lightsaber," or "All my problems would be solved if I could use a magic wand," or "My life would be so much better if I lived on a different planet". Well, some do.
But when we attach our notions of how people should act to the characters we see and read about in fiction, we lose the essential part of being human that every artist strives to fully capture, but ultimately fails every time. I know this because it's something I dealt with a lot. I spent so much of my adolescent life indoors watching screens. I got so used to living my life with so little interaction with others other than my friends and family that it became harder and harder for me to reach out to people. Alone time is a good thing, absolutely. God has given us solitude as a gift to relax, re-energize, and think deep thoughts. But this can also be pernicious like anything in excess.

There is some je ne sais quoi about being human that cannot be beat by any of our own human inventions. God has given us a form of life and existence that amazingly special that cannot be reproduced.

Right now, it's still a struggle to force myself to get my papers done, to study for things, to go interact with people I don't know very well, and to run Youth Drop-In every week. But I want to keep working at becoming a better person and improving the lives of those around me just as much as I want to improve my own life.

I'm not saying this is your own struggle, because I know you have a lot of other very different things on your mind right now. I know that because of the time of year, as you said, things are tough, but I just want to do whatever I can to help you get through it. Now is the time of year that can be stressful for a lot of people. There's papers and exams and all types of crazy stuff piling up. I've talked to a few people today who are having unforeseen crisis back home. These things happen and we all suffer in different, but no less significant ways. Don't add on to your suffering with more suffering. Don't beat yourself up and don't be afraid to do things and talk to people that you never have before. I'll pray for you Tim!

Don't forget to be Tim!

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On another note, I got an A+ on my History Midterm! And my Shakespeare Prof said that presentation that B and I were apart of was the best rendition of Antony and Cleopatra she had ever seen! Also, my RA got an Apartment Rep position and he, I, and two other guys get first pick of apartments for next year! We went scouting in the apartments and talked to Spencer in the middle of his dinner about the best picks. We're still debating, but we're probably going to take the one that had a renovation done on the shower and has a bush in front of the window so we can spy on people but still get some privacy.

We'll see soon enough!

-Clayton